In life, there may be various occasions where you may have heard “just be yourself.” Usually, this is said to encourage you to resist feeling nervous about a new experience or situation and be who you are instead of acting fake or phony. That is because the world wants to meet our most authentic selves. You know, the person who is exactly who they claim to be. Saying you are authentic implies you are fully trustworthy and genuine. Most people can adapt their personality to their environment or social situation. In fact, most people typically only represent a portion of who they really are at work. By learning to adapt, we take on a work persona of sorts. This persona is usually one that we believe better fits in with the culture at work. Although taking on a persona, wearing a mask (and maybe a cape) can be an instant self-esteem booster, it may not be the best approach to gaining credibility at work. What if you could make being authentically you a superpower? Keep reading to see that learning how to make being authentically you a superpower is attainable!
How to Make Being Authentically You a Superpower at Work
It goes without saying that when we are at work, we adopt a mindset of bringing our best foot forward to carry the best version of ourselves to work. We think logically, that to be successful, all you need to do is carry yourself in a positive manner. However, that alone is not enough.
That is because while being your most authentic self in life may sound simple, doing this at work is not so easy. Sharing your honest thoughts, feelings, and experiences at work can be a double-edged sword. Being able to actually share your “authentic” self in a professional setting in a smart and sustainable way is a highly sought-after and learned skill. Getting it right takes a deft touch and can vary depending on your career stage. With some guidance, you can learn how to make being authentically you a superpower.
Being yourself, or being authentically you has numerous benefits. Research shows that people with a robust social network feel more fulfilled, have better job performance, and even live longer. This is the best way to form meaningful relationships when you are who you were meant to be. Meaningful relationships can be integral to career success and growth, regardless of your industry.
Despite its potential benefits, self-disclosure can backfire. If you show up to work totally unfiltered and trust everyone who crosses your path, that could go downhill fast. If being open in a professional setting is hastily conceived, poorly timed, or inconsistent with cultural or organizational norms, it could significantly damage your reputation. It could even alienate you, foster distrust, and hinder teamwork. On the other hand, if you keep things surface-level and hide your true self, you might miss out on forming the type of relationships that can enrich your life and career.
If you feel like one version of you shows up during work meetings and another, more authentic version shows up with friends, you’re not alone. It is common to feel this way, especially when you don’t choose your colleagues or clients, and most work meetings require a certain degree of professionalism. But you will likely form deeper connections if you always show up as your full self.
Let’s look at a few tips on how you can share yourself in a professional setting in a smart and sustainable way and learn how to make being authentically you a superpower.
- Show Vulnerability: Share personal details when appropriate. Sharing personal details about a topic helps people see the true you and get to know you better. If you take advice from a coworker, take the time to follow up and let them know the outcome. For example, Bob shares his experience at a new Greek restaurant on a meeting and you decide to go there later that week. Take a moment to tell Bob thank you for sharing details about the Greek restaurant with you and let him know how wonderful the Baklava was.
- Be Generous With Yourself: Listen attentively to what people tell you. If you meet someone new and they tell you about themselves, take note of their interests. Later, you can act on those details about their interests by sharing a related article with them that you find on that topic, or perhaps introduce them to someone you know who runs a group of people who have the same interest.
- You Don’t Have To Connect With Everyone: Do not set the standard that every person you meet at work must be a connection and know more about your personal life. Instead, look for authentic connections and nurture those connections. Relationships should always be reciprocal. Beware of those that want to hear about you, but never share personal details about themselves. These are red flags for toxic relationships.
5 Tips for Self-Awareness
Focus and make space for deeper connections. It will allow you to fuse your personal life and work life with less burnout, stress, and anxiety. If you want to be the most authentic version of yourself, it all begins with self-awareness. To have self-awareness, you should be firmly rooted in who you are. Take the necessary time to learn about your own values, emotions, and competencies, and how you are perceived by others. If you have this self-awareness, then it will be much easier to know what you should reveal to others and when you should do so. Good communication skills are the key to effective self-disclosure. Those who do not take this necessary step of self-awareness are more likely to misread colleagues’ social cues, including body language and facial expressions. This can lead to ill-timed, inappropriate disclosures and decisions.
- Build a Foundation of Self-Awareness: Know your values, competencies, and weaknesses. Use honest feedback to better understand yourself so you can make the best decisions about what you will share and when.
- Consider Task Relevance to Sharing: Remember that your goal in revealing yourself at work is to build trust and engender better collaboration and teamwork, not necessarily to make friends (although that may happen). Before you share personal information, ask yourself whether it will help you do your job, or give people a better understanding of your thinking and rationale. If not, save the story for a coffee date with friends. If your goal is to develop rapport with coworkers, you can never go wrong with bonding over a beloved sports team, a new movie, or a favorite restaurant.
- Tell Genuine & Honest Stories: Don’t make up parts of your story to impress or connect with people. While it might seem like a good idea now, doing this could backfire and make you lose credibility.
- Know Your Audience: Make an effort to investigate national and organizational norms about sharing so that you’ll know when it’s best to keep quiet. In a situation that involves teammates from other countries, companies, or functions, you should talk to respected insiders about how people operate and what level of candor is expected. For example, Sheila found out that people in the USA are more likely to share openly than those in Asia. If Sheila shares her story, it may be less accepted by her Asian co-workers.
- Avoid Very Personal Disclosures: Intimate stories can strengthen relationships, but sharing intimate stories is not a way to establish relationships. When you share too much personal information too quickly, it can break all sociocultural norms of behavior. This can make you appear awkward, needy, or even unstable. It is better to spend time with coworkers to develop a foundation of trust, learn organizational norms, and demonstrate credibility and trustworthiness through your work before sharing.
Have confidence and know that your stories are worthwhile when you can express them well to the right audience. You have the power to create your own communities. The perfect way to begin is with something simple: showing up. The relationships you cultivate and grow today will prove worth it in the future. In some workplaces, you will eventually find sharing safe and helpful; in others, you’ll realize it’s extremely unwise. Either way, you win for being more comfortable in your own skin. Go ahead, make being authentically you a superpower!
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